Dear Matthew: Should I help my colleague find a date online?

Matthew Turner

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Our agony uncle on how to avoid annoying workmates and get back to the architecture

Question: A colleague of mine broke up with her boyfriend a while ago. She keeps asking me to help her find a new one, as she thinks I have a wide social circle. I have smiled, and politely tried to put her off.

Last week, she said she wanted me to help her with online dating and asked me to draft her online profile for her. When she gave me some notes I was shocked. The way she described herself was almost unrecognisably positive.

But I feel somehow obliged to help. How do I get out of this situation?

Answer: Oh dear, what a bind. I recall years ago a friend came across the online profile of a difficult ex-housemate of mine, and us both having the same reaction: everything this person said about themselves we remembered the complete opposite.

Rather than easy going, we remembered a control freak, and a professed love of visiting galleries and museums certainly laid low in the time we lived together. It seems your colleague has the similar unfortunate combo of being somewhat pushy as well as a little deluded.

Sorry to be harsh, but she sounds scary. I think this is a case for you asserting yourself, get back to the architecture, and steer clear. Let her approach someone else to pester.


Architect Matthew Turner of has worked at a range of offices as well as being a client adviser, project manager and competition juror

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